17 DAYS!

Only seventeen more days and I will be leaving for Kenya! I cannot wait to spend three months in the Kenyan sunshine volunteer teaching! My day will be split between teaching at the middle school level and the high school level. The schools are within walking distance of each other and the children's home! I cannot wait to meet the kiddos at the home :) I can't hardly wait to experience the Kenyan culture! This is going to be an experience of a lifetime... I just want it to be January 11th already!

Missing Skowhegan Area Middle School!

As exciting as it is to be done college and to entertain the idea of getting my own classroom someday soon, I am also sad that I wont be going to SAMS tomorrow and seeing my seventh graders and mentor teacher! Friday was so unbelievably bittersweet. It was a day of great accomplishment (finishing college and surviving student teaching), but it was also one of the hardest days I have ever survived. I had to say goodbye to a group of wonderful seventh graders and eighth graders, as well as a phenomenal mentor teacher who has taught me so much about teaching! We all had a wonderful cake and I enjoyed just hanging out with my kiddos. However, by the end of the day, I nearly lost it and started crying. I think my mentor could tell, since he asked if I wanted to have a seat. I was so thankful because the last thing I wanted to do was to cry in front of my kiddos. At the end of the class, my seventh graders all gave me hugs. I had to fight the tears back! I finally lost it on the hour and a half drive home! I miss Skowhegan Area Middle School, the students, the Somerset team, and Jason B. already! I am sad about tomorrow, everyone will be in class and I will be here at home :( I can't wait to get back there. I would love to get a teaching job in the area! I will always be grateful for all that I learned and at how welcome my mentor and my students made me feel!

Still Reaching!

My biggest fear was teaching the 8th graders. Couple that with the worst behaved eighth grade class and a crazy hectic day, and that only begins to describe today! However, I felt so accomplished that I took on my biggest fear and challenge and proved to myself that I can handle middle school. I know that I want to teach at this level and age group and now I have proved to myself that I can do it!!!

I don't want to leave this placement. I have learned soooo unbelievably much in these past eight weeks. I can't even imagine what I would have learned if this had been a 16 week placement! My mentor teacher is so phenomenal and the students are so amazing! This has truly been a positive and wonderful experience that I wouldn't trade for the world!

Not Ready to Say Goodbye...

This is my last week with my seventh graders! Things have been so amazing and I don't want to leave. After having that conversation with my mentor teacher before Thanksgiving break, about learning to have fun and find a balance between school and life, every single day in the classroom has been amazing, even when things were falling apart! Our talk helped me realize that this job is as fun as you make it! I also think that after establishing a connection with my kiddos it made all the difference. Once they saw that I wanted them to succeed and that I cared about them their attitudes toward me and my class completely changed! It is a phenomenal feeling to wake up everyday excited to go to school because you know it's going to be fun! I don't know what I would have done without this placement and my amazing mentor teacher and my terrific seventh graders! I am lucky...

Student Teaching Portfolio

I am feeling extremely overwhelmed as I am putting together my student teaching portfolio! I wish I hadn't put things off. For 3 1/2 years, everything has been building to this point. I am really excited but at the same time I am really worried that mine wont be as good as everyone else's. I know I just need to focus on getting mine done but I am feeling so overwhelmed. I didn't want it to be last minute, but there just wasn't any time. I need to just settle down, focus, and do my best...

Lots to be Thankful for...

As much as I had made up my mind about only wanting to teach younger grades, it's days like today that make me realize that middle school is such a fun place and how much I would be missing out on if I were anywhere else. Today we walked to the rec center and had a beautiful meal as a Somerset team. My mentor had been telling how great this meal was, but I had no idea just how amazing it really was. For the past few weeks I had seen teachers and students on the team making placemats and candle holders and it all looked great but it looked nothing like it did today. The tables were covered with nice table cloths, the meal was candlelit, and the food was fantastic. For some students, this may have been the only Thanksgiving meal they will have and for others it was a perfect opportunity to provide some praise and reinforce the idea of community and team work. Especially at an age where they can be so mean to one another, I think that this was a wonderful way to pull students together and remind them that they are all in it together.

I had such a great time. I had a group of students asking me to switch seats with another teacher. It was nice to know that I had made that connection with some of my students and that they wanted to hang out. It was the most amusing meal i have had in a long time as the students opened up and shared with me the world through their eyes. One of the things that I missed about my second graders, that I felt didn't exist at the middle school level, was that my second graders couldn't wait until snack time to share stories about their life. When I got to middle school it was tough not having that connection with my students. I was worried that because they didn't share anything with me that meant they didn't like me. My mentor teacher pointed out that with middle schoolers, if they don't share everything it doesn't mean they don't like you, if they didn't like you they will definitely let you know in other ways. I had never thought of it like that, but I still saw how they were with him and a few others. So today I felt like some of my students let me in. I think I am starting to feel good about middle school. I think part of me being able to start to enjoy 7th grade comes from the reassurance last week from my mentor and my field supervisor that I handle middle school. Now it seems less intimidating and I can begin to see the fun in it.

Still Learning...

I'm still learning all that it takes to be a teacher. Being a teacher is more than just the lesson planning, the learning goals, the MLRs, the Initial Teacher Certification Standards, in all, a teacher is more than the responsibilities each day. Today, I learned a lot about finding the fun in teaching.

After my observation today, my field supervisor told me that I plan well and my lessons are good for a beginning teacher. She said that the kids were having fun and are engaged. The only person not having fun is me. My field supervisor told me something that made me see teaching in a completely different light. She said, "Jena, you are going to be a crappy teacher if you lose sight of you." At first it took me a minute to realize what she meant. At some point there is a fine line between preparing to be a good teacher and over preparing to the point that you are doing more harm than good.

Student teaching has consumed every last minute of my free time. I spend so much time planning and preparing for my lessons that everything else that means anything to me has come second. It's kind of ironic that all of the time, all of the energy put into planning and preparing is actually making me a crappier teacher. I can see it too, especially when all of the reasons that I wanted to teach are slowly disappearing. The fun, the creativity, the excitement--all of that is being replaced by stress and unhappiness with the job I am doing and teaching is becoming a burden. One of the biggest reasons for me wanting to teach was having a job where I got to hang out with kids all day while finding creative ways to make learning fun. Somewhere along the way it became less about having fun and hanging out with the kids and more about the planning. Planning is only a small fraction of the puzzle. The kids are more important.

Everything made even more sense, and I felt much better, after talking with my mentor teacher. My mentor said that if you can't have fun in teaching, then this becomes just a job. My mentor has been trying to tell me that I need to be proud of the work that I am doing and trust that I am doing fine. On the first day of my placement he said, in Middle School you either have what it takes or you don't. I was terrified that I didn't have what it takes. However, my mentor told me that whether I like it or not, middle school suits me. I have found my place. So now that I can stop stressing about whether or not I can do this and I can focus on just having fun. My mentor said to me that I already have the planning down, so instead I need to spend the next four weeks having fun with these kids and enjoy what I am doing! I needed that reassurance that I am doing an alright job. Now I can relax and for the first time in a long time I am really looking forward to these next four weeks :)

Formal Observation Today and Opening of Harry Potter

Today is my last formal observation! I don't really mind being observed anymore, in the beginning it was nerve wrecking, but student teaching is pretty much a 16 week long observation. Most of the time I enjoy getting the feedback. There are always those things that I know are going to be brought up and then there are those things I don't even realize. Plus it's always nice having a quick chat with my mentor teacher or field supervisor after a lesson since most of the time it feels like I'm floating in left field, no idea what I am doing. However, observations, both formal and informal, and seminar keep me grounded. It is truly amazing the difference a good mentor and a bad one can have on your student teaching experience. It's nice having someone you know is on your side, looking out for you if you have any issues or concerns or just to touch base with. Student teaching is tough and you need to know who your supports are and feel that they are there in order to survive!

So some other recent updates about student teaching include: we are making our way through our Europe unit and the kids are working hard! I am so proud of the turn around I have seen in them. Getting homework done is still an issue but luckily the majority of homework is behind us and it consists of just studying 10 minutes each night for a physical map quiz over the landforms of Europe for the quiz on Tuesday. Looking back on things, and also looking to the future, I would have done things differently. I would have taken more class time to discuss the earlier history topics. This would have put at least a day in-between the first and second homework assignment and would given my students more time to get things done. I also would have been able to get to everything I wanted to. Secondly, when I am a teacher I am going to have a homework club. This would be a time twice a week where my students could come in for an hour after school and receive help with homework. This would not only be free tutoring as well as teach students the benefit of getting homework done right away to enjoy the rest of the evening, but it would also give some students at least one adult in their life who cares if they get their homework done-even though kids hate doing homework they still need an adult who cares enough about them and their grades to make them sit down and do it. Homework club would be a fun time too. I would bring in snacks, everyone would sit around a giant table and just crank out their homework. Students who don't even need help could come in and work, especially if they are those students who would go home to an empty house after school.

Homework club would also prevent parents from calling or emailing because they are upset by the amount of homework. This has already happened to me this week. On Tuesday, my mentor told me about a parent who emailed him concerned about the amount of homework. My mentor was awesome about handling the situation. He let me decide what I wanted to do but when I didn't have any ideas (except to cry about it), he helped me reach a solution. I gave students a 20 minute work period at the start of class to finish up the assignment. He ended up email the parent back and explaining what we did. It ended up being a minor issue. However, I ended up having a melt down and crying because I was so frustrated. Between sobs I tried to articulate to my mentor that this unit has consumed all of my time and no one is happy especially me because I just need some time to hang out with my friends and do something fun, like go to the movies. Instead, when my mentor asked why I was so upset I could only say, "I just want to see the new Harry Potter movie!" After telling my friends and roommates they have a countdown to the opening of Harry Potter and they seem to find endless jokes and laughter over this. I keep reminding them that this will be them next semester during student teaching. As for now I feel much better about the homework and unit situation and as far a Harry Potter, I doubt I will be going, but I do plan on making time for my friends this weekend.

Preparing for a Formal Observation...

Tomorrow morning is my last formal observation for student teaching.

What a rough day. But it is days like these that make you grow as a teacher. Realistically, not every day in the classroom is going to go just as planned. Wouldn't that be nice and easy.

Starting to See the Bigger Picture!

Today I feel like the pieces are actually starting to come together and I am beginning to see the big picture when it comes to teaching middle school! Up until it clicked today, I have felt like I have been floundering in the seventh grade for the past 3 weeks! My mentor has been amazingly supportive and helpful which is the only thing that has kept me from emailing my supervisor and begging her to place me back in the second grade. I just felt that I wasn't connecting with my seventh grader. No matter what I did, the kids were not buying in, they were far from impressed, and they just were not excited about what we were learning. So in an attempt to capture their interest, I rewrote my entire unit, threw out all my planning and the unit project I was excited about, and went back to the drawing board. I wanted to create something they would be excited for! Then after spending countless hours fine tuning my unit, they still seemed unimpressed. SoI decided I would just go ahead with it. However, the work didn't seem like it was getting done, there were a million excuses, many of them weren't putting in any effort, and most students couldn't tell you what they had to do. It was so frustrating. I couldn't figure out why my students were so disconnected from what I was doing.

Then today, it all made sense. When I'm up at the front of the class, they are tuning me out. Even when I called their attention they would go back to what they were doing. It sounds simple, but I didn't recognize this as a problem before even with my mentor helping to clue me into this problem. I thought, well some kids have to be fiddling in order to pay attention. However, today I realized that almost no one was listening. So I made them all put down what was in their hands, repeat information back to me, and I walked them through step-by-step. The results...a much more engaged and attentive class. My mentor and I talked about this later. He was telling another teacher that I have all it takes to teach middle school I just have to learn to bring down the hammer and today I did just that! I want my seventh graders to be successful and in order to do that I have to come down on them a little to show them that I am serious. Now that I have begun to slowly put the pieces together I feel like the next week is going to be good!

S is for Student Teaching

I cannot believe it, only five more weeks of student teaching remain! It is very bitter sweet. Part of me is so excited to finally be out on my own in the real world, teaching in a classroom that is my own. I cannot wait to have my own desk, my own chalkboard, my own walls to decorate, and my own set of kiddos who come to me when they have a question or something they are so excited to share! However, there is also the other half of me who likes having that guidance and someone to turn to when something goes wrong. My mentor teacher for this placement is phenomenal. He lets me do whatever it is I want to try, he offers great advice and coaching, and he is there when I have a question. I am getting so much more out of this placement than the last.

However, in five short weeks I will be done! I will be finished college and I will be a real teacher! Something that I have been working at for a long time now. I can't believe how quickly these past 3 1/2 years have gone, and especially how quickly these 16 weeks of student teaching have gone. I have learned so much! After spending 8 weeks with second graders, and now 3 weeks with seventh graders, I realized how much fun working with kids can be! Both second and seventh grade have their ups and downs. Little kids are so much fun. They are excited to learn, they are enthusiastic about trying anything new, and they have so much energy. Throughout the day and at the end of the day I felt good about the work that I did! My second grades were always surprising me. Working in a classroom all day with the same kiddos was so nice because I got to know them really well, which made it so hard when I had to say goodbye!

At the middle school level it is great being able to go more deeply into the content and the posibilities of what the students can do seems endless. Seventh graders are able to make the connections you have to draw for the younger grades! The work they do is exceptional. Although there is more eye rolling than in the younger grades, there are some students that are truly excited to learn and it is those students who make you feel good about what you are doing at the end of the day. Middle schoolers are also hilarious. It is a different kind of teaching and learning experience. Middle school is growing on me even though I am finding it challenging to connect. Second graders love to tell you everything, seventh graders not so much. It is harder to make those connections and without that rapport it makes it difficult to teach them.

I think student teaching has taught me so much about me and my teaching style and teaching in general. The important things I have realized this semester include:
*Fifth grade is still the perfect age and grade level to teach!
*Kids love it when you take an interest in their lives! I learned so much about my second graders by listening! Snack time was the perfect opportunity to hear all about what they are doing outside of school. I would then use this information to get their attention while I taught. For example, I would use their pets names in sentences for writing or on spelling tests! They loved that I listened and that I remembered!
*Having kids involved in their learning is way more exciting to them and to me as the teacher! Talking at my students was painful for both of us, but watching students do hands on learning and exploring makes learning fun for everyone!
*It is important to find BALANCE! I am still struggling and learning how to separate myself from teaching. I need to take more time for myself and my friends. Not every second of every minute needs to be about teaching and planning.
*Sleep is essential! Last week I only had 12 hours of sleep for an entire week and it was hell. It makes it hard to bring energy and excitement into teaching when I could barely stay awake.
*Exercise is important! It is so easy to put off going to the gym because of everything that needs to be done. However, when I stopped running I felt worse.
*Eating right is key! A diet of caffeine and sugar will keep me energized...for about an hour and then I crash! Energy drinks are addictive! After student teaching I will probably have to check into a twelve step program just to kick the energy drink habit!
*When planning start with Monday's lesson first and work your way through the week! This sounds like a no brainer but it took me 10 weeks to realize that if you plan in the order of the lessons you teach, it is possible to get a few days ahead! I was so used to putting together lessons starting with big projects or from the end and working forward. This will save you from late nights finishing the next days lesson at 3 am before waking up at 4 am to teach the lesson at 10:50 am. Not fun!